ineke.co.uk

Word of the day: SNUDGE – to stride around looking terribly busy, when in fact you are doing nothing.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) August 22, 2019

You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth. H. L. MENCKEN

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) August 23, 2019

This is a clear breach of contract. https://t.co/KJBUje9PZU

— innocent drinks (@innocent) August 23, 2019

Want to feel old?
This is what Macaulay Culkin looks like now. pic.twitter.com/msNkp9XQTH

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) August 25, 2019

Everyone do this, immediately!!

Google ‘The Wizard Of Oz’

Then tap the Ruby slippers
Then tap the Tornado

Enjoy! 🤗

— Michael Vinsen (@MichaelVinsen) August 24, 2019

We can confirm we will offer Jack Leach free glasses for life https://t.co/7rfPBK77GS

— Specsavers (@Specsavers) August 25, 2019

I was in a park and a lady loudly called out "Anyone who wants an ice cream come over here". I headed over with several others. She handed out ices to them all then asked me "Who are you?". I realised the rest were all her family. 30 years later I still cringe.

— Andy Ryan (@ItsAndyRyan) August 25, 2019

Cricket is the only sport I know of where you can ask a question as simple as “did we win?” and the answer takes half an hour and amounts to “sort of”.

— Lucy Wainwright (@Whoozley) August 25, 2019

Speeding it up and adding the Benny Hill theme tune makes pretty much any video better. pic.twitter.com/Nw6JJmUNbY

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) August 25, 2019

The remake of Dumb and Dumber looks rubbish. pic.twitter.com/3BGUYWotzu

— King Charles III (parody) (@Charles_HRH) August 25, 2019

Meanwhile in London, this guy is living his best life pic.twitter.com/DGnm8xIZZj

— Giles Paley-Phillips (@eliistender10) August 25, 2019

Trump suggests nuking hurricanes to stop them entering the US, or at the very least separating the kid hurricanes from their parents and locking them in cages.

— Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) August 26, 2019

Automatic balloon machine. pic.twitter.com/c09PtsQjBQ

— MachinePix (@MachinePix) August 26, 2019

Something about an August Bank Holiday without rain just doesn't feel right. It's like Halloween without pumpkins. Bonfire Night without fireworks. Independence Day without Will Smith stopping an alien invasion.

— innocent drinks (@innocent) August 26, 2019

People have been calling for an extra bank holiday in the UK, but can’t decide what the date should be or who it should celebrate .
Under a Loony Government your birthday would be your own paid bank holiday.
#Manicfesto #BankHolidayMonday #BankHoliday

— 📢 oFFiCiaL mONsTEr rAvINg lOOnY PArTy 🎩 (@Official_MRLP) August 26, 2019

Thrilled it’s #CakeWeek last series didn’t feel right having biscuits week 1. Hoping this is an indication that this series will be a little less gimmicky in its challenges and stick more to core skills @BritishBakeOff pic.twitter.com/urbNPBEKxe

— Kate Bottley (@revkatebottley) August 27, 2019

Suspending parliament to prevent the expression of the will of elected representatives is what autocrats and dictators do. This attempted coup against our democracy to impose a no deal Brexit cannot be allowed to stand.

— Ed Miliband (@Ed_Miliband) August 28, 2019

Important reaction from outside Number 10 today as Larry left outraged at tabloid reports on his health. @Number10cat pic.twitter.com/XW6dYeAD8I

— Mark Thompson (@SkyNewsThompson) August 28, 2019

I have spent the entire day in a sealed sound booth with the @nosuchthing team, with no access to Twitter, and from a quick glance at the news, I will be applying for permanent residency in that sound booth first thing tomorrow.

— Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) August 28, 2019

This is where we're going wrong. pic.twitter.com/OETz6LUgGM

— cluedont (@cluedont) August 28, 2019

Here’s the most important thing. And this is always how it has been. The last ever Soul Survivor was great.

But Jesus was absolutely spectacular.

— Martin Saunders (@martinsaunders) August 28, 2019

All the food gets donated to food banks every couple of days which is fantastic https://t.co/dWFTmJJgv0

— R Y L A N (@Rylan) August 28, 2019

We know there is a lot going on in the UK at the moment and things can feel a bit daunting.

So for now please enjoy this video of baby sea otter being cuddled by his mum. ❤️️ pic.twitter.com/FutrrpjMnK

— Metro (@MetroUK) August 29, 2019

The dot over an i or j is called a "tittle".

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) August 30, 2019

So let me get this right.

Giving back control to Parliament is achieved by removing Parliament's ability to have control?

I see the Tories are going for #oxymoron of the year award.

— Alex Tiffin (@RespectIsVital) August 31, 2019

Landslide. Every video I ever release from now on will have this title. pic.twitter.com/jbAZvgNdpR

— Jay Foreman (@jayforeman) August 31, 2019